An open door to walk through

This past week was a whirlwind to say the least. I found out about a job opportunity that I may be interested in applying for. To be honest, I wasn't searching for job at all. In fact it was probably the last thing on my mind but this position sparked a little bit of interest. I had to act fast if I was going to apply because they were quickly beginning interviews and the job posting was only up until the end of the week.

I called a few people that I thought would write me a reference letter and got to work on my resume. This part was so foreign to me. I hadn't made a resume since high school when I barely had anything to put on it. I actually learned that I had more to put on a resume than I gave myself credit for. I had a lot of responsibilities as a manger and years of customer service experience. I surprised myself. I was also showered with love in my reference letters, talk about blessed!

I had only two days to really get everything together and talk about switching gears. I had so many emotions running through my mind. I felt guilty that I wanted this job, which would require finding full time daycare for the boys but I was also excited to have a new opportunity and chance to work somewhere else. I had been at Jolts and Juice for so long and it felt so familiar. I often joked that my days felt like a broken record and I could perform them with my eyes closed (not true) but it's just what happens when you have such a routine and familiarity. I knew that job inside and out and was so comfortable in it. 

I got a call for an interview only 2 days after finding out about the job. I communicated with my 4 year old what I was going to be doing and that I was applying for a job which meant I wasn't going to be staying home with him or his brother if I got it. He repeatedly asked me "Who's going to watch us?" "Where are we going to go?" He has a question for everything and I find that's it's best to communicate with him so he's not caught off guard. 

This was all happening so fast. I didn't have a plan in place for who would watch the boys. I am currently still nursing with out an end in sight and a baby that won't take a bottle real well. I was comforted in the fact that if it was meant to be, it would be and if it wasn't meant to be, it wouldn't. The interview came and went and the next day I got a call that the position had been offered to someone else. 

I can't hide the fact that I was disappointed. I know God opens door for us when we least expect them and this was absolutely one of those times. As quickly as he opens them, they are often slammed shut shortly after. I told my son that I didn't got the job and he got a big smile on his face and said "yes!" I said thanks bud with a puzzled look on my face. I said why are you excited and he gave me a big huge hug and said "because I love you." It was in that moment that I knew God was telling me that I am right where I am supposed to be. I may not be a stay at home mom forever but it was like he whispered in my ear that this is exactly where I'm called to be now.